The Best Advice I Got About Choosing My Bridal Party
Choosing your wedding party is hard. It's a combination of feeling like you are in middle school, ranking your friends, and also thinking about the long term and who you'll still have by your side five, 10, or 20 years down the line. Over a month after asking all my bridesmaids to be in our wedding, I could not get my mind off the one close friend I hadn't asked. I couldn't quite put my finger on why I hadn't asked her, and I kept going back and forth. We already had a big wedding party. Would it be crazy to add one more to the mix? Would that mean my husband would need to find another groomsman?
I was talking to another friend about what to do, and she gave me advice that stuck: "If you are going back and forth on it, you should ask her. Wouldn't you rather regret including someone than regret not including them?" She was totally right. All my concerns about having one more bridesmaid were bullsh*t. It totally reframed my thinking: we already had a big party — why not add one more? Five years later, this ninth bridesmaid remains one of my closest friends, and I am so happy when I look at my wedding pictures and see her standing beside me.
This was the best advice I got about choosing my bridal party, and I'm so glad I took it. Read on for other tips I wish I had handy at the time.
I Want More! Get our newsletter by tapping the button below. Instant Subscribe By signing up, I agree to the Terms & to receive emails from POPSUGAR.Throw gender norms out the window.
It's 2018. Ask whomever you want. Have them walk down the aisle wherever it makes the most sense. Don't get hung up on gender — the most important people in your life should be beside you. Period.
Don’t get stuck on the numbers.
I've been to weddings with one person on each side and weddings with (literally!) 18 on each side. There are so many ways to accommodate large wedding parties (by having most people sit, for example), so you should include who you want to include. It's your day, and you want to be surrounded by the people most special to you. Don't worry about how it may look to have a big or small party.
Wait before you pop the question.
Think through your list and discuss it with your partner before asking people to be in your wedding party. You may even want to sit on the list for a month or so if there are a few people you're not sure about. I'll admit it was a little awkward when I asked my ninth bridesmaid over a month after the rest of the party was set. That could have been avoided if I gave myself a little more time to think about the list before I started asking people.
Consider other roles.
If you are on the fence about asking someone to commit to being in your bridal party, maybe they can fill in another important role, like a reading, being an usher, or even officiating the wedding.
